I was so happy to see him again, I knew I was safe and that this was the Divine help Dawn told me about. I’ve asked him “Why did it take you so long to come to me again?” and he said “Because this is how long it took you to learn your second lesson: Healing the trauma of conditional love”
As soon as He said that I was able to “see” the past years and all the things related to that. Only then I could understand how much of a problem this was for me and for how long I’ve been fighting it, denying and trying to hide it.
He offered me images of me during my childhood and all the things I had to do to earn my mothers love. He helped me feel the pain that I once felt 25+ years ago and it broke my heart. I felt sorry for my younger self and offered her all the compassion and love that she never got.
He helped me gain so much clarity by showing me how I always offer way more than I receive and how that is draining my energy. I used to think that I love loving but He made me realize that sometimes I loved because I was trying to earn the same love back. Most of the times people wouldn’t get as invested as I did so I was left feeling empty, not worthy and anxious. The same feelings from my childhood kept coming back at me but I never wanted to acknowledge the real reason. Only when I’ve stopped resisting, sat and cried in my pain I was able to understand my lesson.
“How can I heal this aspect of myself?” I’ve asked Archangel Metatron tho which he replied:
“Remember all the things you used to truly love doing while you were a child?”
“I do…I miss painting, singing, dancing, creating anything.”
“That’s exactly what you have to do. Every time you start feeling anxious in your human interactions or unworthy of love, acknowledge those feelings and that pain, accept it and use the things that you loved doing to your advantage. Write about your pain, sing about your fears, just let it all out. Soon, all those dark feelings will become light and you will be healed. Use your traumas to work for you, not against you. “
He continued “You’ve made so much progress during the past years and I know it’s hard for you to see it. Life is stressful and I know how easily humans get distracted and miss the most obvious things. Take care of your body more, sleep more and better and eat healthier (oops), this energy will settle down and you will feel better.”
I was standing mesmerized in front of Him, feeling so happy, peaceful and greatful for the help he was offering me again. I couldn’t stop admiring his long hair and the energy coming from him. He knew exactly what I was thinking and said:
“Look at me! What do you see?”
Without thinking I’ve replied: “I see myself.”
“Exactly, we are the same, we are one, we are love. We are God. Touch me”
I’ve reached my hands towards his and everything turned into a bright light. I’ve tried touching his hand but there was nothing physical there, my hand went through his while his went through mine. My mind started thinking again about how all this could be possible, I got a bit distracted and lost the connection. He pulled me back again and gently reminded me how I should focus my energy in my Solar plexus Chakra to channel Him.
I had no idea how much time had passed but I was started to get sleepy. I was so relaxed and happy, the most that I have been in the past 4 years. I felt safe, knowing again that everything happens for a reason and that I’m on the right path, my path. It felt like I was being home again, the home where we all come from. I
’ve let go and fell asleep surrounded by his loving energy…