Hello beautiful ones. This is going to be a long post so grab some popcorn and sit tight.
It’s been a long while since my awakening (you can read about it here https://wordpress.com/post/iamalightworker.me/27 and here https://wordpress.com/post/iamalightworker.me/71 ). It’s been more than 4 years and life changed completely. There were some intense months after my awakening, when I kept having visions, being able to predict random event or to communicate telepathically with closed ones, being in close contact with my guardian angels and much more. Please don’t read this as me bragging about my level of spirituality because none of this was intended nor did I put in any effort into making things happen the way they did. They just happened and I was just able to observe them.
To keep things a bit shorter, life in the past 4 years has slow down, as time passed and I wasn’t expecting anything major to happen. I thought I’ve lost my path again, only having visions or meaningful dreams or events during rare occasions. I thought that being a mother now will in no way allow me to keep growing spiritually since I couldn’t devote much time to that side of me.
As everyone knows 2020 is…well, it sucks for everyone. There isn’t one single person that was not affected by it, in my opinion at least. In my case I’ve started 2020 by breaking up with my partner, the father of my baby, by being a stay at home mom while also trying to earn a living (check my shop to support me tab for more details https://iamalightworker.me/shop-to-support-me/ ). March-April was the time when I was finally healing after my failed relationship and I was planning on rising even stronger then before but that’s when COVID-19 hit Romania. Every little plan that I had turned into ruins. Time has passed so slowly since March and one good thing about all this was the chance that I had to introspect, to ask myself if I am lost again, if I am on the right path (being a single mom and my online shop), if I have the right people in my life, if, if, if.
Many memories have come to my mind during the past months and I admit that most of them made me feel angry, hurt, not worthy or love, fearful, anxious etc. Every possible bad emotion was triggered in my being by random memories that kept popping out in my head. And I mean things that happened 25+ years ago, when I was a child. With every memory that surfaced I kept building this resentment towards my mother. Being a recent mother myself I couldn’t understand how my mother raised me and treated me the way she did. All the spiteful words she ever told me started ringing in my ears, keeping me up at night. All the mean and planned actions she made filled me with rage. Hate is a word that I usually never use but what I’ve started feeling for my mother this year was very close to it.
I thought I was drifting more and more from my light path witch each passing day and with each negative feeling or emotion that I kept having. I’ve also met a couple of new people this year that were triggering these well hidden emotions. They sometimes left me feel unsecure and not worthy, just like my mother. I kept thinking to myself: “How can a lightworker be so full of rage and resentment? Why can I not make peace with this person and end a chapter?”. I admit it was a real torment for both my soul and my body.
Enough was enough, I got to the conclusion that I was stuck again and that I need just a tiny bit of guidance. I couldn’t hear any answers to my prayers, I couldn’t meditate anymore, I couldn’t do any Reiki self therapy because my mind was constantly focusing on my negative emotions. So that’s how I’ve decided to get the help of Dawn, a fellow lightworker that did a very accurate reading for me a couple of years back. I knew she would be the one that could shed some light on my situation. You can check our her site here https://soulsisterstruth.com/ I would totally recommend her to anyone that is stuck or just needs a bit of healing done by someone else.
Anyway, the reading was very insightful and accurate, I would say. She kept talking about a major turning point in my life that will happen in the same week, about how I should stop resisting it and about some Divine intervention that will help me move on. I truly hoped things would turn out the way she said but I was a bit doubtful, my life was too messy to change overnight.
But that’s exactly how it happened, over night, again, the same as the first time. Yesterday it’s been a long day, same overall negative state and gloomy feeling that I couldn’t shake off until I got into bed. That’s when I saw HIM again (read here to understand who I mean https://iamalightworker.me/2016/08/28/29-july-2016-part-ii-download-of-knowings/). It’s been 4 years since I last saw him, I kept calling for him and never got an answer, I thought he had given up on me, whoever he was. I never knew who exactly he was so that was my first question:
“Who are you?” To which he replied “Archangel Metatron.” (who I believe is the same energy as Enoch). Our communication was instant and he told me to focus my energy in my solar plexus if I want this dialogue to continue. He said something along the lines of “You need to keep your energy and frequency on a specific level to be able to communicate with me. If you ever loose focus the line will be cut and you won’t be able to hear nor see me”
I was so happy to see him again, I knew I was safe and that this was the Divine help Dawn told me about. I’ve asked him “Why did it take you so long to come to me again?” and he said “Because this is how long it took you to learn your second lesson: Healing the trauma of conditional love”
Part II loading… Stay tuned