How silly of me to think that losing my old friends that I had before my awakening was something tough. Yes, it was hard to deal with the situation at times but it wasn’t as exhausting as things are becoming now. 

Apparently more and more people from my “old life” how I like to call my first 27 years before my awakening are missing me and contacting me. Let’s go places we used to go to before, let’s do things, let’s talk things. Well….I pass politely with a simple “Sorry I would rather not.” How can you tell someone that was important to you that you just don’t relate to him/her anymore? That you don’t want to do the things you used to do before? That you don’t want to go back to the places where you’ve been to so many times? 

Obviously they ask why I refuse every invitation they make so I try to avoid the complete truth as much as possible but without lying. I would say things like “You know…I’ve been busy, doing some courses, energy, cristals and stuff like that.” I know that most of the people that were in my life and that are missing me now wouldn’t understand much of what I’m going through. It’s pointless to start a debate with them but at the same time I want to be as honest as possible, without getting into too much detail.

Long story short: I am exhausted. I feel so tired of hearing the same reactions from the people that were part of my life some time ago. Things like “OMG, you don’t drink alcohol anymore? Why? What do you mean you don’t enjoy going clubbing anymore? Not even shopping? Energy therapy? What’s that nonsense, are you crazy? You’ve got any new lovers? You wanna smoke something?”  and so on. I’m exhausted to have the same conversations over and over again with the people that I do care about and I’ve had enough of trying to explain myself and my decisions. 

It’s sad seeing that actually only a few people know me and accept me for who I am. All these dear ones liked the part of me that was trying hard to be part of the crowd some time ago. They liked who I was trying to be for them and now,  that they get a glimpse of who I truly am, they think I’m insane. It’s also sad to see that in this world it’s hard to be yourself because you risk being on your own. So you get stuck between faking who you are and the dicision to stay true to yourself even if that means having only a few people around you, only the ones that really get you. I wonder how many of us actually fake our whole self just to be part of a group/family/society etc 

I’m ok with people thinking I’m different but I got to find an easier way out. Maybe a tattoo on my forehead with the same answers that I offer everytime they contact me?! Or maybe write a letter and spam everybody with my new self. Or maybe I should change my voicemail and describe myself and whoever is still interested would make it to the end of the recording and leave a message? Hmmmm…I’m on a brainstorming session with myself, my guides, my higher self and who ever is willing to offer some advice. I’ll be working on that and hopefully come up with a practical idea because I’m not doing this over and over with each and every person that has been in my life and that’s missing me. 

But meanwhile…

Feel loved and spread love! ❤
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