It’s hard when you lose people that you love or just care for. I am not talking about any death related loss, just about people leaving our lives because…that’s just the way things are meant to happen. I will tell you a bit about my experiences with losing friends and close ones.

People have always entered my life at key moments (either for them or for me) but unfortunately most of them had to leave too. As a lightworker I understand now that I had to brighten those lives and sometimes I did, other times I have failed. Living for so many years and being unaware of my role on this planet was depressing and confusing many times.

I couldn’t understand why I would wake up one day and feel like a close friendship just got to an end, for no apparent reasons. I used to look for excuses, things they did to annoy me so I could use that and pull myself away from the relationship. I could never understand why I was never able to have more friends at the same time, like most of the people do. Many of my friends belong to a group of like 20 people, they go out often and spend their holidays together. That was never my thing, I’ve tried it a few times during my life but it was too draining and I could realize that, even before my awakening. You don’t need more than one hand to count the number of friends that stayed in my life for more than 5 years. No, I don’t cause arguments with them, we don’t fight and I don’t treat them miserably. They just leave my life at certain moments, when my mission there is finished. The hard part is explaining them why I feel like my mission there is finished and that I need to go out. It’s difficult for them to understand that and they would either think I am crazy or arrogant if I would tell them what I really feel.

During the past year more and more people have left. Even family I would say (well not really family, just blood related people-more on that another time). People that I used to love spending time with and that brought me much joy. Life took us apart and each of us continued his own way. I found it disappointing at times and hurtful at others. But over all, I’ve tried ignoring the pattern that kept repeating itself for so long. I always thought there is something weird about me so it was easy to blame it on that.

Having to watch my life as a movie (find out more here) made me understand these things too. It took like a few seconds to download this knowing, about people entering and leaving my life, just like that. Every single one of the people that I have met came in my life when they were in a really bad place, emotionally wise. All of them were in a really bad place with their lives, most of them having jobs that they hated, being in relationships that they weren’t happy in, not knowing what they enjoy doing, wanting a change in their life but not knowing what type of change and so on. Others had addictions to overcome, healing to do from the past, forgiving that needed a lot of work and many other examples. I have been told in the night of the awakening that I am able to take on me someone’s pain, make them lose it and replace it with light. Even better, I don’t carry their pain with me, somehow (I wish I knew how) I release it from both of us, to a higher level where it doesn’t affect anyone, anymore. Every time I left someone’s life or they have left mine, they were in a completely different place, a more happy place. That could be another relationship or just enjoying life as a brand new single, having a new hobby, changing their lives in some way or another, or even finding their true sexuality. The moment that this way of understanding my past was given to me all my sadness related to this topic has disappeared. I don’t think there is something wrong with me anymore, I don’t wonder about why things happen the way they do. Now I can look back and cherish each person that was in my life. I am happy knowing that I managed to add a bit of light to their lives and I am grateful for the lessons that they taught me. 

Each and every person that comes into your life is there for a reason. You will both learn from each other and help when needed, even without realizing it. Just our presence, in a place, at the right moment can change a life. Sometimes we don’t even need to say things to help others. Light is bright and it can shine over the ones that need it, without much effort from our side.

Feel loved and spread love ♥

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