Today is Saint Alexander in the orthodox religion and I am supposed to be called by tons of people (even thought my number of friends barely reaches half a gram). My name is Alexandra, they say. I’ve always disliked my name but at the same time, I wouldn’t like having another one. Hearing my name being said makes me cringe and it takes me seconds to react. 

The age is also something I can’t relate too. It actually happened to me a few times to be asked what my age is and I would just have a blockage. I made myself younger and older on a few occasions, with no intention. Unfortunately many people are disappointed that I have no idea how old they are (I’m talking about close friends and family) and I never know when their birthdays are. Because I am a people pleaser I thank Apple for offering me the option to set reminders. Even so, I miss many birthdays and events that people call important. It’s the same about sex, I am obviously aware of someone’s sex (am I, or do my friends have surprises for me?!) but I don’t think at them considering that criteria. I treat both sexes equally, and I get along with women as good as I get along with men. I don’t have a problem sharing “girlie things” with a guy if he is giving me a good vibe.

When it comes to relating to the time notion it’s been so confusing for me. I’ve spent my whole life not making plans and barely sticking to a plan for a couple of days. I could never imagine myself in the future. I had an idea of what I would like to do but I’ve  never set a target. It’s the same with the past. I sometimes have to focus big time to know what I did yesterday. I have lived my entire life so far not being able to “feel time”. My parents would do anything for me to change that and “be normal”. What’s normal? Who’s defining the “normal”? Is it society again? I will always wake up each day living like it’s the only one I have, like I am being born in the morning and dying at night. That process repeats itself every single day and trust me, it’s so fulfilling. I am not doing this on purpose, it’s just the way my soul is understanding that time doesn’t exist. There is only this moment, this one second that you are living in. 

Now, after my spiritual awakening, I got to understand why I’ve always been like that. No, I am not ignorant and rude because I can’t and don’t want to remember your name nor your birthday. I now know that sex, age and name are society standards that don’t belong to the Divine life. Time is something that shouldn’t bother us. Let go of the past and don’t have expectations from the future. Just live and happiness will come looking for you. 

Considering that we all carry a soul I think we are defined by it. So how can a soul have a sex? Does it? So if your sex in this life is female and turned to male into the next life, does that mean your soul is confused and doesn’t know what he likes best, having a vagina or a penis? Hmmmm…

Age, that’s too complicated to be explained in a few lines but I can say that I don’t see humans different, judging by their age. When I look at someone and talk to them I am addressing their soul, even though basic vocal communication is made using the body. I am not a feminist, racist, sexist, misogynist or any other -ist. I know that we are all equal, me, the 27 years old Alexandra with the 2 months year old baby starving in Africa. Maybe it doesn’t seem like that when you only look at the human part of us and at our chances, but, at a deeper level we all carry pretty much the same soul.

I hope that we all get to see this some day, that none of us is better or worse than the one next to him. No bag will make the other woman better than you, and no car will make the other man richer than you. Society, society…..

Treat everyone you meet equally, with the same amount of respect, love and understanding. Be aware of their situation, good or bad, but understand that the situation they are in doesn’t make them any different than you.

Feel loved and spread love ❤️

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