The night between 28’th and 29’th of July is one that I will always cherish and be grateful for. I will tell you the short story, otherwise you might be spending years in front of your computers, reading this. During the past year and a half I’ve been in one of the most unhappy and unhealthy relationships one could be in. I went out that night with one of my few friends and her brother. We had such a depressing dinner, all of us complaining about our relationships. I’ve tried ending mine since the first months of it but I couldn’t say “That’s it!” I kept going and hoping things will change. I remember saying to my friends that night: “I don’t know what I need to do to be able to finish this. I have never been so depressed but I still can’t let go.” We finished our dinner and each of us went home to continue his own life.
I entered my flat and sat down in the first room, which is the kitchen. My boyfriend called me and we had a little argument about something silly, like always. He cursed, screamed and released all his anger on me. That was fine, I was getting used to him acting like that. And then, he hung up the phone on me. It was the first time in my life when I wasn’t bothered by that (usually my abandon problem would kick in). I felt complete peace and I knew that was the last thing I was hoping to happen, so that I could let go. I’ve sent a short message saying this: “Thank you for teaching me this wonderful lesson, we can’t change anyone and it’s so selfish of us to try and do that. This is over.” I didn’t think that message through, it just came to me like that so I typed and pressed send. He wanted to talk now and started sending texts back, full of hate and anger but nothing could scare away the feeling of peace that took over me.
I picked my bag, my cigarettes and phone and went to my bedroom. I sat down on the bed and the room started spinning. I suddenly had this vision that I will detail about in the next post. I heard the followings: You have learnt your last lesson that you had to learn, that you can not change anyone and you should never try doing that again. Oh my, I could bet that I was losing my mind and I was about to call someone and ask for help. I could only imagine the mental hospitals that I would spend the rest of my days in. But that didn’t happen. Those dark and scared thoughts were being covered by something way stronger and brighter, that I couldn’t control.
I was sitting there for something that felt like ages, but apparently it only lasted for 5 or 6 hours. I went to bed that morning, around 8 am being a complete different person. I was knowing things that I had no clue about before, I was literally seeing and hearing things that I never believed in and I’ve met my soul. Not only that, but i was covered in light during that night, and spent all those hours looking at my past life. When I say looking that’s exactly what I mean: it might sound ridiculous, but I had to watch my whole life being shown to me and all my lessons being pointed out at me.
You can find the lessons that I have been given during that night, some of the knowings I was blessed to receive and some of the guidance that was offered to me here 29 July 2016 part II -download of knowings-
Stay loved and keep loving ♥